Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome Australia Inc.

A Member Group of the Australian Multiple Birth Association
 

Caitlyn Michelle

To The Girl I Never Knew

I never really knew her.
It’s not as if I met her or anything.
I never really knew her although for some reason I feel as though I do.
But she was a part of my life, even if it was a small part.
No! Not a “small” part, she’ll never be that.
She was a short or brief part maybe, but never a small part of my life.
She was like a dream, the type that leaves you with a waking smile.
The type of dream that you can’t quite remember, can’t quite fathom.
Maybe like dreaming of writing the most gorgeous poetry ever but not being able to remember the words.
Nonetheless, she made me feel good.
And I know that she’ll come to me at odd times.
Like when I should to be working or when I’m watching nothing much on tele or when I’m laying on the grass with the warmth on my face.
Then maybe I’ll see her and she’ll bring me a tear or more likely a smile.
But I won’t really know why, because I never really knew her and I never really met her.
But in a strange way she’s helped me clear my muddied view of life.
She’s shown me that it’s not how long or short the journey, but what you give to others along the way that counts.
And without knowing it, she’s given a part of herself to me.
She’s helped me to find myself, to know myself and she’s helped me to see that special part in everyone that’s now a part of my life.
So, without even knowing it, she’s given me a gift.
Perhaps the most important and wonderful gift a person can give - a gift of knowledge and love.
And what can I give in return and does she really want anything?
Maybe I can’t really give her anything, except maybe to never forget her.
And so I’ll never forget her although I never really knew what she looked like.
But I’ll see her.
She’ll be there in her mother’s smile or the way her sister rolls her eyes or in her brother’s giggle or in her father’s turn of phrase.
So to me, this girl I never really knew is immortal, immortal in the most beautiful and unselfish way.
She’ll be carried in my heart and the hearts of others forever.
And we’ll talk about her and she’ll come to us.
And again, she’ll bring us a tear or a smile but most likely both.
And am I selfish for taking a part of her with me, this girl I never really knew?
I don’t know………maybe.
I don’t think so.

Johnny
31st August 2002
For Caitlyn.

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